Lesson's Learned

Carly is teaching me so many lessons right now- the biggest one she's teaching me is that she is not like my other girl's. She is so independent and feisty! But also the funniest, and sweetest thing. These are pictures of her in a time out for bullying Ashlee. No, you didn't read that wrong- my 2 year old picks on my 6 year old. Ashlee never stands up for herself, so Carly just keeps going. I put Carly in her room and she was telling me how she was going to be nice to her sisters. While she was saying this she was making this scowl on her face- it was killing me not to laugh. So I did something worse then laugh- I got the camera. Why don't I just give her a trophy for being a stinker huh?! Anyway, in the other pictures she is still telling me she's going to be nice, and she started laying down singing about loving her sister's. I don't know what to do with her! Her room isn't finished being painted- we've put quite a few things on hold with some of the things we've been going through- but I'll get to that later in the the blog. So eventually her room will be yellow under the purple with a border between. She had to have her "C" hung up though- she loves it!

Isn't it funny the lessons we learn in life?! I feel like since we moved to Arkansas I have had to grow up so much. I have always thought that I had a grasp of real life and reality, but of course we all have trials that open our eye's a little wider. I don't really know why I'm blogging about this, hopefully it doesn't make any of you think I'm looking for a pity party- I just want to know how much I'm thankful for.

Our family has had a few trials lately and it has been really hard for me to understand why we are having to go through these. Having to survive double house payments for 6 months pretty much did me in, or so I thought! I thought I had learned so much patience and understanding of having trust in the Lord's time table. We had so many incredible testimony builders during that time. I'll share the one that really has changed me. The closest Temple is 3 and a half hours away, and right after we moved here the Stake temple day was coming up. We were debating, but we didn't have the cash to go. We knew we could put it on the credit card, but didn't want to do that either. In the end we went and charged the gas, food, and hotel. It cost about $200, but after we felt like we had made the right decision, and felt the Lord would understand. That next Monday night there was a knock at the door. We opened the door and there was a card with a scripture and $200! We hadn't really spoke to many people about our worries of putting the trip on the card, but were so humbled that someone would be willing to give us this money. It was hard though- neither of us like asking for help, or having a lot of attention on us, but it really humbled us.

I am really bad about letting people help me when I'm dealing with a crisis, I tend to put on a brave face and deal with my emotions later. In July I had a miscarriage, and was amazed to see how the Ward member rallied around me to help our family. We had dinners brought for a week, and all kinds of desserts. I couldn't believe how concerned people were, I kind of felt guilty, because I felt that there were others who were dealing with much worse then I was. I was telling my mom and she reminded me that I need to let others have the opportunity for blessings by serving. But I was still uncomfortable. Anyway, we got through it and have really appreciate what a caring ward we are in. Well last week I miscarried again, and it hit me really hard! I don't think I have cried so much in my life. But during this I have seen how blessed I am. I have 3 beautiful girl's who are so loving and just want to make us happy. It makes me think of how many women go through what I've been through but haven't had the opportunity to have any kids yet. It just makes me so thankful! Once again the few people who knew I have miscarried again have rallied around my little family- and I am so thankful. I still have a hard time accepting help, and hate answering the question of how I'm doing- but I know I would want to help my friend is she were going through this.

One thing I also have learned- there are things that are just not good to say to someone who just had a miscarriage. Sometimes it's better to just say nothing! I had a lady say, "Well, I'm still pregnant, do you want some of my nausea?" We were due the same time. I about fell off the couch- I couldn't believe she said that! But I know she wasn't meaning to be mean, but I so bad wanted to say- please don't say that to anyone else who is going through this! Her comment got me thinking weather I've made dumb comments like that- not meaning to be hurtful or rude, but just unsure of what to say. So if I have said anything like that to any of you- I AM SO SORRY!! I have now learned a hug says a lot more then words sometimes.

Now that we're done with that depressing news, I'll give a quick update on the kids. Lexi tried out for the school play, and was so excited to get a part. I was really worried about if she didn't get a part, but she did great. She is a rain dancer, and have to figure out that costume- I am asking for help- this is not something I have any experience in. Ashlee has her 50's day next week and she can't wait. I love listening to her walk around the house singing You Ain't Nothin but a Hound Dog- in her raspy voice. She can't wait to do her little production- they are singing for all the kids at lunch, and have to be all dressed up. Lucky for me, I have a costume made for her from our 50's ward party! Like I said earlier, Carly is so different then Lexi and Ash, she has way more energy, and just doesn't take any nonsense. But she is always running up to me with a big hug and an I love you. She has really gotten into Dora lately- and speaks her little Spanish words- if we have to hurry, she doesn't say hurry, she says "rapido!" Or instead of hi, it's always, "Hola!" Darrell is so excited to take his last trip for the year- (I hope!) He's going to Washington D.C. where he served his mission. He hasn't been back and can't wait. I wish I could go, but we have so many things the girl's are getting ready for. My swim class has been going great- I feel a little more confident. I'll miss the next few weeks, but hopefully I won't get too behind. My biggest fear is the diving platforms- I really hope they don't try and get us to do that! Oh, I need to clarify, my class is for adults- there are no kids in my class. How sad would that be! Well the sadder part is that they would probably out swim us all!!