I've Been Putting It Off

We have some big news I've been waiting to share- but feel it's ok to share now! We are having a baby in June! We are very excited and thankful. It's been kind of a struggle to decide what we wanted to do after the 2 miscarriages we had. The easiest thing to do was for me to get an IUD and get my emotions back to normal. Darrell had NO desire to try again- after dealing with a sick wife for weeks then an emotional basket case- he was ready to be done! My doctor here told me he felt the miscarriages weren't related and that I should be able to have a baby when I wanted, especially since I had 3 babies in a row and had no problems conceiving before.
The IUD was quite an experience. You all know me and know I share too many details, so if it will gross you out- you may want to skip. For most women getting the IUD takes just a few minutes- for me it took almost 20! I was almost in tears it was hurting so bad, my doctor just kept saying it wouldn't go in and stay- maybe that was a sign?! Finally it was in!! I had to go back the next month to make sure it was still in place- nope, it was falling out. So I got to go through the fun again! This time it stayed in- for a while! Once the IUD was in I was ready to just be happy with my 3 girls and move on, I love babies, but had no desire to try again and loose another one. Imagine my surprise when a few months later the stupid IUD came out again!! I was NOT about to try and have another one put in- it just was not made for me I guess! Darrell and I again had to decide what we wanted to do. Once the IUD came out all my baby hungers came back and that feeling of there is another baby for us. I was afraid to say anything to Darrell because he was so against having another baby. He surprised me by coming home one day and saying we should try again. I was so shocked that I told him no- I wasn't ready for the emotions that would come with trying again. This went on for a month or so and we prayed and felt good about trying again. We didn't have to try- I was already pregnant!
This pregnancy has been hard- I was sick like this with Lexi- throwing up a lot, gagging constantly, and passing out. Lot's of fun stuff! I was nervous for my first ultra sound, and had a complete breakdown just before. All the memories of going to my other appointment and seeing a perfectly formed baby but no heartbeat came back and I was so scared! I made it through my appointment and got to see our little baby and it's little heart beating away- what a feeling of relief! I have had a few scares, but when I get nervous I keep getting a feeling of peace and calmness. The sickness is getting better, and I am very thankful! It lasted 6 months with Lexi and I was not looking forward to that again. The kids are very excited. Lexi and Ashlee have known for about 4 weeks and have done so good to not tell anyone. They understood why we wanted to wait. We weren't going to tell Carly but she kept asking all kinds of questions while we were in Las Vegas and we decided to tell her. She keeps asking me if there is really a baby- she can't wait for it to come either! Little does she know how her little world will be changed!
So now all of you that have known it's ok to share- and you don't have to delete comments on my blog about it! We are excited and keep praying that the baby will continue to grow and be healthy!